Sooner or later, each of us make New Year resolutions. With the promise of the New Year, many are filled with hopes, dreams and goals be it losing weight, improved health, stop smoking cigarettes, getting out of debt, creating healthier relationships, and so on. Some resolutions are kept and while others are discarded. Some discarded goals occur due to boredom, unrealistic expectations, and the lack of motivation and/or negative self-talk to name a few.
It is far healthier to let go of the notion of New Year resolutions, and consider the concept of choices. For example, many claim they want to give up a bad habit (smoking, drinking in excess, emotional eating and so forth) or achieve a new goal (pursuing a new job, career, pursuing an education, a relationship and so on) but the bottom line is this:
Achieving one’s goals takes work!
If we wait for life to give it to us, we are waiting for something magical to happen, and that only happens in fairy tales. We become passive. When life does not give us what we want, we easily give up on our goals and blame everyone and everything versus looking within and examining our own attitudes, behaviors and motivation for change.
Here are a few questions and tips for your consideration:
(1). Do you really want to achieve your goals? Are you ready for them? Are you motivated and committed?
(2). Are your goals realistic and reality-based?
(3). Do you have the necessary support systems in place to cheer you on during turbulent moments?
(4). Break down your goals into smaller sub- goals and steps. What needs to happen for you to get to Step A to Step B? Setting sub-goals which are reality-based will increase your success.
(5). Give yourself a break, be kind, patient and loving toward yourself. Providing you do not succeed the very first or even the second time does not imply you are a failure! When some people perceive they have “failed” they give up and move into a negative mindset, such as, “I’m no good, I failed….its useless…” OK, that is totally unhealthy!
Instead, validate your efforts! Perhaps, reflecting on a different course of action may help.
Remember it is about the process of reaching your goals, and not how quickly you got there.
Providing you are finding there are continual obstacles, or you find your self sabotaging your progress, you may want to seek out a mental health therapist to support you breaking patterns which are no longer working for you by choosing healthier options.
You have choices, you have options. Celebrate your accomplishments.
Disclaimer: The content of Dr. Garrison blogs are not intended to be viewed as diagnosing or treating a diagnosis or providing psychotherapy to any of his readers. Providing you wish to see Dr. Garrison for treatment and counseling please feel free to call his office number (207) 307-7119 or consult another licensed mental health clinician.